Learning to Accept Myself through Horses

Bridle Up Hope came into my life just when I needed it most. As an autistic woman, I've often wished I was like my friends and family members who don't have autism. For years I pushed myself to try to be like them and to do what they were doing. Eventually, I found I was constantly comparing my life to everyone else's, and I was failing at every career, educational, and life goal I had set for myself. I was feeling discouraged, lost, and my feelings of self worth were the lowest they had been in years.

A lesson that sticks out in my memory most is one where I was able to drive French Fry's cart. My instructor Jenna and I were talking about how amazing each of the horses were. Jenna mentioned how she would never ask sweet and gentle French Fry to be like majestic Captain Jack. We talked about how the differences in the horses are so beautiful and how each horse brings something wonderful to the barn. I started thinking a lot about how maybe, much like the different horses at the barn, I also bring something wonderful to the world just by being myself.

The first habit is all about being proactive. I'm slowly learning what is and isn't within my circle of control and I'm now actively choosing to do my best to focus on what I can control. I'm in charge of my life, and while that can be scary, it's also so beautiful and freeing. I'm now working toward the things that are important to me. I'm working part-time with the goal of eventually finding a longer term job that's a good fit for me. I'm trying out different hobbies and learning about what makes me happiest. I'm working on finding my way in the world in a way that works best for me and that aligns with what I want my life to look like. It's a journey I'm so excited to be making and I'm so grateful for Bridle Up Hope and the horses that put me on this path.

- Bridle Up Hope Women’s Participant